Task Paralysis: What to Do When You Can’t Get Started

Some days can be difficult.

You can have a list of things you want to do but find it hard to get going.

You could have dishes to wash, clothes to put away, emails to respond to. You know they’re not difficult but you still can’t start any of them.

When that happens, it can be tempting to tell yourself you need to try harder, get motivated or become more disciplined.

Instead, let’s start with a question:

What feels possible from where I am right now?

Start where you are

Not every stuck moment is the same.

There are times when you might be able to manage fifteen minutes of something if you can just get started. At other times, even the idea of doing something for five minutes feels like too much.

So rather than choosing the task you think you should be able to do, try choosing an action that matches where you actually are.

If you can’t start at all

Forget the task for a moment.

Go and wash your hands and face with cool water. Pay attention to the water, the feel of it on your skin and the smell of the soap.

This is your only task for now. A sensory experience to help you move from feeling stuck.

Then see what feels possible next.

If you can manage a few minutes

Put on one song.

Choose something small you could do while it plays. Put a few things away. Clear part of a surface. Get dressed. Gather what you need for the task you’ve been avoiding.

When the song finishes, stop.

If you can begin a small task

Set a timer for 15 minutes and start.

You don’t need to finish the whole job. You’re agreeing to give it fifteen minutes.

When the timer goes off, stop.

Why stopping matters

This part is easy to overlook.

If you tell yourself you only have to do something for one song, but every time the song finishes you make yourself carry on for another twenty minutes, eventually “one song” stops meaning one song.

The small action quietly becomes a much bigger demand.

The same thing can happen with a timer. If fifteen minutes regularly turns into an hour, it may become harder to persuade yourself to start the next time.

So keep the promise you made to yourself.

That doesn’t mean you have to abandon something when you’re happily getting on with it. Stop for a moment and make a new decision.

Do I want to carry on?

If you do, make a new agreement with yourself and continue.

The difference might seem tiny, but you're allowing the original small commitment to remain what you said it would be.

One song a day can add up to around 20 minutes a week. Fifteen minutes a day adds up to 1 hour and 45 minutes a week.

Small actions become easier to start when they stay small.

Pay attention to what happens

There isn't one strategy that will work every time.

One day fifteen minutes might get you moving. Another day, washing your face might be about as much as you can manage. Something that helps you today may do very little next week.

Notice what happened. Notice what made starting easier, what felt like too much and what helped you move from completely stuck to doing something.

Over time, you can begin to build a better understanding of what helps you.

That idea is at the heart of Finding Your Way, my four-week email course from A Better Month.

The course doesn't assume you need another long list of things you should be doing. Instead, it gives you small, practical things to try and invites you to pay attention to what happens.

You try something. You notice the effect. You learn a little more about yourself. And you decide what is worth carrying forward.

Sometimes it’s difficult to know what will help until you try something and pay attention to what happens. Finding Your Way gives you the space to do that.